there's no place like home n no one else like family

im scared.
im terrified.

ive done this many times before,
for the past 3 yrs,
it hasnt always been this hard.
hasnt always been this painful.

im going bk to melb this fri.
only four days frm now.
n im dreadin it.
i really am.

maybe, it has sth to do with the fact that everytime i return to melb from kl,
nth ever stays the same,
everyth is foreign n diff, studies,
ppl i always used to hang out with,
we tend to drift apart,
things that i usually enjoy,
somehow seems all so different.
n im scared cos i dnt kno wat to expect.

maybe, it's because it's my last semester,
n knowing that this will b my last flight to melb.
maybe i just dont want the nightmares to start,
the days to the truth gets closer,
the days as to when my dreams will either come true,
or be shattered.

or maybe, it's because i've gotten so much closer to my family now,
than i ever did in the past 19 yrs of my life.

in the past 5 days,
ive realised how much my family means to me,
n how much i miss them.
in the past 5 days,
i dint think id miss my parents,
cos they re only goin away for a week,
n we have, previously been apart for months.

but i do.
i miss my parents, n my brother,
i miss late night coffees w my dad,
i miss my bro's dumb jokes.
n i miss cooking w my mum.
the highlights of my days are little sms-s from my parents,
or their calls at night.

i look forward to my sis n bro coming bk.
everyday.
i finally feel like i can be myself around them.
i finally feel like they know me for who i am,
n no one else but me.
it's a really nice feeling.
i realised today, id rather spend d day out with them then with my frens.
n it's not cos i feel obliged to like i usually do.
but cos i simply want to.
in these few days left,
id rather hav lunch with them then watch movies wif my frens.
id rather watch dvds at home then hanging out at mamaks.

recently, someone asked me,
who my best friend was,
n i was stumped.
ive found my answer now,
ive had many best friends,
but each lasted for oni a yr or 2.
but my family,
they are my best friends.
they are my best friends for life.

family are friends you do not get to choose,
and are stuck with for the rest of ur life.
but im glad, that it is the way it is.
cos then i kno,
no matter what,
no matter how many years from now,
ill nvr be alone,
n thru thick or thin,
they ll always be at least at the other end of the phone line.
waiting for me at the airport, everytime i get bak,
always knowing what to do,
what to say or do to cheer me up,
always tryin their best to make me feel better, regardless of how badly i snapped.
accepting me for who i am,
with no hidden agenda, no ulterior motive.
regardless of what bad decisions i make,
regardless of my mood swings,
regardless of how many times ive hurt and disappointed them,
regardless of all the pain ive put them thru.

there truly is no place like home n no one else like family.