the other side of the coin

so, the interviews are soon.

dont know when just yet,
but all i kno is soon.

with more prep,
every single moment in my life,
ive turned it into a situation,
probably overthinking and overanalysing it.

so, there are these 2 lil gals,
my neighbour's grandkids,
whom ive been playin baddy with.
or rather catching, pond fishing etc.
and what ive learnt from them,
is that u cant make everyone happy.

do we be ourselves,
disregarding what everyone else thinks of u,
n end up unhappy n alone. or
do we be whom others want us to be,
and be happy when with the crowd.

but its ironic that,
the most common advice anyone gives,
is to be ourselves.
what if being ourselves dnt work out for us.
what if being ourselves results in unhappiness.
doesnt it contradict itself.
what s the whole point?

u hav to choose,
or rather u hv to manipulate,
n look for diff means.
nth black n white.
no right or wrong answer.

have i becum cynical?
perhaps.
i dont believe in soulmates and true love,
i dont believe in everlasting friendship,
i dont believe that anything is forever.
i only believe in what i can control.

is that wrong?
it probably is.
but only those things make sense.

i gues, there s more than just two sides to the coin.
and this is one of the mistakes,
that i prob wil never learn from.
cos i do not know what ive learned from it.
gues, ill jus hv to keep repeating it,
till it finally makes sense to me.