eternally grateful

horoscopes.
i know that they re just mere phrases that applies to everyone,
n wat ppl want to hear.

but sumtimes it's nice too.
it's like a lil personal reminder,
and as silly as it is, i enjoy reading it,
cos it gives me hope.

"Dont give up. There is a way through every obstacle you face"

so it's 4am here,
n i cant sleep tho i hav to be up in a couple of hours for my med checkup.
n my mind just cant help but wander off.

in all honesty,
im excited, but at the same time scared about med school.
i guess that s only natural.

im really glad ive made it in,
after all the effort thus far,
to finally be able to achieve what ive always wanted.
but it's not going to be easy.

and if there's one thing ive learnt from the past 3 yrs,
is that real life is nth like what i thought it wud b like,
when i was bak in high school.
it aint all sugar and spice.
n plans never work out the way u plan it to be.
ive been told once too often,
that my way of thinking is a little too naive n idealistic.

med school aint cheap.
it's gona cost a fortune, on top of the first degree.
but to make myself feel better, i wud always say,
id pay my parents back.
but realistically,
it wud take me ages.
n i kno that.
well, maybe i can, maybe i cant

but for one thing,
all i can do nw n definitely will,
is to do my best, to make them proud.
i gues it's good too,
as a constant motivation factor for me to work harder.

altho i may nt be able to return to them the amount of money they have spent on me,
just so i get all the best things in life.
my resolution for this new year, n many years to come,
is to do the same for them, they did for me.
to keep a promise i made to them years ago, regardless,
which is to take care of them like they took care of me.
thru all the gud times n bad.

becos i knw that,
im very lucky.
after learning abt all the lil things that can go wrong in your body.
im very lucky to be perfectly healthy.
n on top of that,
i was born into a very close family,
who cares a great deal,
no matter hw big or small the matter is.
im very lucky in every way possible.

maybe i sound childish,
maybe i sound naive,
maybe all i say sounds more like a cliche,
but this is truly hw i feel,
because i am eternally grateful.

so yes,
that's a promise that i am going to keep.